A woman of noble character
Mis à jour : 5 août 2020
A woman of noble character : you become one or you are one ?
Who can find a woman adorned with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit ?
I have often look at the mirror and talk to myself harshly because I couldn't reach that threshold of viruisity, courage or value.
"If I put some effort to it, I'll improve. It is a constant course. I will persevere". However, bitterness nibbled my guts. And if it wasn't a matter of becoming ? And if it was simply a matter of being ?
How could I prove that I indeed was that honourable woman ? At worst, I gave everything of myself to become it.
I used to run after that image, the one of a better version of myself because I didn't have any of the proof that I had fixed : no job, no clarity, no couple, not enough money, no perfection, not a home, not beautiful dresses. Not this nor that. For me it is these, for others it would be something else : not athletic, not enough motivation, no family, not thin, not enough joy, no patience. A long list of "not yet" that undermine the peace of our souls. It explodes. Bum. Oh. Argg.
I measured my value, that value, in view of an empty holiday's suitcase.
My God speaks otherwise. He says something else about my value. He appreciates who I am. His eyes watch over me with kindness, love, respect and benevolence.
I thought that if I didn't have all those things from my long list, I had failed. I failed to show compassion.
Sometimes I have run all day from one side to the other : one tennis court, one net, one tennis ball, two rackets, two fields, only one player. Yes, I missed every throwing, I was so tired running as uncertainly, fighting as one that beateth the air.
Today my story changes, Jesus took his place in my heart. He stands in front of me in the other field, the racket is on his hand, the tennis ball is crossing the air. The throwing is arriving, will I get it this time ? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. We learn how to loose sometimes. An shrug and tones of humility.
Don't be afraid of looking at your reflection, accepting how you are today : those errors, weaknesses, failures. Those sparks, talents, that personal beauty, unique, tailored.
To accept oneself it is simply to love ourselves as God loves us. If he has created you that way, is it not because he has perfectly chosen you ?
The balance between making some effort and humility is when you do not expect too much from yourself and you give it all at the same time. Not overestimate, not underestimate:
the center is the net,
the eyes fixed on the player in the other field.
The game is the ball : sometimes you need to throw it, sometimes you need to receive it.
And all the rest is continue to keep going, side by side with the Holy Spirit who puts his compassion in our hearts, so we become more and more who we already are.
Because God finds those strong women of value, virtue and courage. It is me, it is you. It is us, sisters, that the Lord is calling near his heart.
I believe it, I know it. And you, do you have that hope ?
Take your racket and wait for the next throwing then. Jesus is the perfect partner.
Crédit Photo : Christopher Campbell